you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
