Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
