In the future we'll all be gay
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
