My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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