$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
