Well douche your snatch and let's go!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
