I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
