I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
