Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
