he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
