bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
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KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
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I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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