Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
