He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.