after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
