How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.