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• (415): View more from California

  i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?

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• (209): View more from California

  Responsibility does not care about your dick.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"

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• (323): View more from California

  Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.

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