he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
