Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won