coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.