guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?