I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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