i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she smelled like a LAN party
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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