u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize
