Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
