So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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