Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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