I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
