at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
