So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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