how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize