I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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