Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize