Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
