he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
