I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
