hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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