It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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