Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
