I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
