I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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