Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Randomize
