So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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