you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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