well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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