i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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