PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
