at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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