So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she told me i tasted like america
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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