you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
