i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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