I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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