Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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