that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I believe in your delicious
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
