It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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