Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
50% drunk capacity currently
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
