The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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