I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize