I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
