Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
