if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
