I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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