I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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