Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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