Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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