Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
