i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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