Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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