well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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