i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
