If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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