i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
