I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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