saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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